Lefty Cat on the Web MySpace Profile Kitten Wars (Part II) Lefty's Arch Nemesis: Tiger Doll

• Lefty Cat only has 3 legs. Most cats have at least 4 legs, if not more.
• Lefty Cat lost front right leg when he was a kitten.
• The Right front leg of Lefty Cat was lost in a fight with a baby puma.
• The animal shelter worker that put Lefty Cat in a cage with a puma (as a joke) cried afterwards.
  Even to this day if we bring it up, she'll cry like a little girl.
  (we like to bring it up a lot, cause she is kind of a bitch)
• Lefty Cat used to have a wooden peg leg but he nawed it off because he didn't like it.
• Lefty Cat gets a bad case of explosive diarrhea when feed salsa.
• Salsa makes Lefty Cat very Hyper.
• A hyper cat that runs around the house with a case of explosive diarrhea isn't fun.
• If Lefty Cat steps on tape with his front paw, he tries to shake it off. This results in Lefty Cat bashing his face on the floor.
• Jewel (the singer) once gave Lefty Cat a kiss on the forehead.
• She commented that Lefty Cat smelled like bubblegum.
• Lefty Cat smells like bubblegum. No one knows why.
• Lefty Cat will meow at oven while cooking ham.
• Lefty Cat will only eat ham if it is covered in butter.
• Lefty Cat has high cholesterol.
• Lefty Cat twitches and shakes when he is having chest pains.
• Lefty Cat's first name is "Lefty".
• Lefty Cat's middle name is "Sherman".
• Lefty Cat's last name is "Cat".
• Some people like to call Lefty Cat "Mr. Cat".
• Some people are fucking stupid.
• Lefty Cat once chewed up an entire lead pencil.
• Lefty Cat drools a lot now, since his high intake of lead.
• Lead isn't good for kittens.
• Lefty Cat was once pushed.... "fell" out of a 2 story window.
• Lefty Cat landed on his head since he didn't have a forth paw to catch himself.
• In fact, Lefty Cat Never lands on his feet due to only have 3 legs... even pushing him from a chair results in face plant into the ground.
• Someone once offered $500 for Lefty Cat.
• Lefty Cat isn't for sale.
• But Lefty Cat used to be for rent, we once rented Lefty Cat out for $75 an hour.
• It was for a kids birthday party, they dressed Lefty Cat in a clown suit.
• Lefty Cat clawed birthday kid's face till he started crying.
• Birthday kid's right eye got infected badly from Lefty Cat's vengeance.
• Lefty Cat has had rabbies. Twice.
• There has been 7 court orders to put Lefty Cat down.
• We appealed (and won!) all 7 cases on Lefty Cat's behalf.
• Left Cat isn't neutered.
• Lefty Cat has knocked up about a half dozen stray cats (that we know of)
• Lefty Cat has also knocked up our friend's cat when we where house sitting.
• We deny the allegations and they cried because they had to give the kittens up.
• Left Cat has defective glands.
• Lefty Cat is a bastard, we didn't know his father or mother.
• We found Lefty Cat in a dumpster, he was tangled up in a plastic bag.
• Lefty Cat pees himself when scared.
• Lefty Cat has been shaved more then once. Sometimes due to medical reasons, sometimes for fun.
• Lefty Cat once attacked a hornet's nest. Lefty Cat's face and head swelled up twice it's normal size.
• Lefty Cat once won a fight with a Raccoon.
• Lefty Cat's best friend is a stuffed animal named "Norman"
• Lefty Cat has had a hard life, but Lefty Cat keeps in good sprits.

As im tired of people asking why my cat has only 3 legs, here is what happened. Now if anyone asks I can just direct them to my blog, because it's just that important.

My genius of a f-ing cat decided one day to go rock climbing in some remote area without telling anyone where he was going. Well, he was 30 feet in the air when he got his arm stuck in between two rocks. Don't ask me how he mustered up the balls, because we had him neutered, but somehow he cut his little left leg off with a penknife. A fucking pen knife. Then afterward he was all over the talk show circuit and he thinks he's the shit now. Just because he went to one of 'the hefs' parties. Anyway, his 15 minutes will end just like the cat that got breast implants on a dare.

• Lefty Cat has a Master Card and American Express in his name.
• Lefty Cat has $150,000 dollars worth of credit.
• Lefty Cat bought me a Play Station 3!
  
  
• In the 2000 Presidential race Lefty Cat received 192 votes in the state of Illinios as write-ins.
• In the 2004 Election Lefty Cat received 2073 write-in votes for President!
• Support for Lefty Cat is increasing, partly due to his stance on immigration reform.
  
  
• Lefty Cat has 3 valid Drivers Licenses from 3 differant states.
• We applied and received a "Disablity" sticker for our van due to Lefty Cat's missing limb.
  
  
• Our slutty friend didn't know the farther of her baby and for the birth certification we concienved her to write in "Lefty Cat".
• Lefty Cat denys having sexual realtions with that woman.
  
  
• Lefty Cat has 6 toes on one of his back feet (his other 2 feet only have 5 toes like a normal cat)
• Lefty Cat has an extra nipple.
  
  
• Lefty Cat can't hold his booze, unless it's beer.
• Lefty Cat used to have a drug problem.... we don't like to talk about it.
• Lefty Cat gets surly when drunk.
  
  
• Lefty Cat does photo ops with fans... for a small fee
  
  
• Lefty Cat was once sued for defamation of character... but when we told the judge that he was a cat, they droped the charges.

• Lefty Cat has 5 differant books published in his name.
  
  
• Lefty Cat has a profile on a jewish dating site. He has received 4 messages so far.
  
  
• Lefty Cat has an anger managment problem. You would not like to see Lefty Cat Angry.

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